Why the Holidays Feel So Overwhelming (and What to Do About It)
There’s a moment every year (usually right after the first “Happy Holidays!” ad plays on the television) when the pressure quietly starts to build.
On the outside, it looks like a season of glitter, gatherings, traditions, and cozy nights, but on the inside? It often feels like a mental checklist that won’t stop multiplying.
Suddenly you're trying to balance:
• Work deadlines
• Family expectations
• Social events you’re not sure you have the energy for
• Gifts (and the budget for them)
• Travel plans
• Emotional landmines
• And the yearly pressure to “end strong”
It’s a lot. Like a lot a lot.
People often assume holiday overwhelm is about one big stressor, but it’s not. It’s the stacking of responsibilities, emotions, memories, and expectations, one on top of the other, until your nervous system is quietly waving a white flag.
The Hidden Equation Nobody Talks About
This is what holidays can look like for many people when the Holiday Overwhelm + daily tasks turns into survival mode living. We have:
Extra Emotional Labor
Constant Sensory Input
Pressure to Be Cheerful
Family Dynamics
Zero Time to Recover
Of course your body feels it. Often, we think we are being ungrateful, dramatic, or “bad at the holidays,” but in all reality, it’s just a sign that you’re human… a human who cannot magically stretch time, emotional capacity, or nervous system bandwidth.
Why You Feel More Anxious Than Joyful
Part of the overwhelm comes from the gap between what the holidays promise and what they actually demand.
You’re told the season should feel magical. But in reality, your nervous system is juggling:
• More people
• More noise
• More decisions
• More emotional expectations
• More reminders of what’s changed , or what hasn’t
As a result, the brain interprets this as increased load, not increased joy. And unfortunately, when the load rises, the body shifts into survival mode:
✔ overthinking
✔ irritability
✔ exhaustion
✔ trouble being present
✔ wanting to cancel everything
Even if you want to enjoy the season, you can’t force joy on a nervous system that doesn’t feel regulated or steady. It’s like asking your phone to run at 100% brightness when it’s on 5% battery… it’s not going to happen without a recharge.
The “Shoulds” That Make Everything Worse
In addition to all the additional stressors, the holidays come with a script you never agreed to but somehow feel obligated to follow:
“I should spend time with everyone.”
“I should say yes to every invitation.”
“I should feel grateful every moment.”
“I should create memories.”
“I should not disappoint anyone.”
Those “shoulds” weigh more heavily than people realize. They quietly pull you away from your own values and push you into performance mode , where you’re smiling on the outside and tense on the inside.
So… What Do You Do About It?
The goal isn’t to become the “zen holiday person” who floats through December with perfect balance. The goal is to support your nervous system so you can actually experience the season instead of just surviving it.
Here are gentle, realistic strategies that make the biggest difference:
1. Decide what truly matters and let the rest be optional.
Not everything deserves equal importance. Pick one or two things that make the season feel meaningful to you. Let those be the anchors, and give yourself permission to release the rest.
2. Build in recovery moments.
Even five minutes of quiet helps your nervous system correct course.
Try:
• Sitting alone in your car for a minute before going inside
• Taking a walk after dinner
• Pausing for 3 long, slow breaths
• Creating a daily “no plans” zone, even if it’s 20 minutes
These aren’t luxuries, they’re maintenance and necessities to make it through the holiday season without being on “empty”.
3. Drop the perfection pressure.
Your worth isn’t tied to:
• how coordinated your family photos look
• how many gatherings you attend
• how beautifully wrapped your gifts are
Good enough is not only acceptable; it’s healthy.
4. Ask yourself this question once a day:
“What would make this feel easier for me?”
You don’t have to look at what would make it better or perfect, you are just looking at what will make it easier for you RIGHT NOW so you can move onto the next thing without burning out.
That one question shifts you out of autopilot and back into intentional living.
5. Check in with your body, not just your plans.
Your calendar might say you’re available… Your nervous system might say you’re not.
Honor the one that has to carry you through the day.
(It’s OKAY to say “no” when you need a reset so that you can say “yes” to other things without burnout or resentment).
The Real Magic of This Season
The holidays don’t have to be a marathon of emotional endurance. They can be gentler, slower, more aligned, but that doesn’t happen because the world becomes calmer. It happens because you decide to stop trying to keep up with the holiday script and start listening to what you actually need.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, that’s your sign that you’re doing too much, feeling too much, and expecting yourself to hold all of it without a break. You don’t need more joy forced upon you. You need more space to feel like yourself.
And that’s a holiday gift worth giving.
Ready to go deeper?
If you’re a client interested in EMDR intensives or a therapist looking for continuing education opportunities focused on trauma, dissociation, and resourcing, visit Breaking Limitations Therapy & Consultation.
If you’re a multi-professional or entrepreneur craving clarity, structure, and balance, explore Breaking Limitations Coaching for on-demand courses and 1:1 Clarity & Strategy Sessions designed to help you align your work and life with what matters most.
This blog is educational and not a substitute for therapy. If you or someone you love is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please contact local emergency services or your region’s crisis line immediately.
