Why Does Change Feel So Hard (Even When It’s Good)?
We talk a lot about embracing change… new jobs, new routines, new seasons of life. It sounds exciting in theory, right?
Growth. Opportunity. Fresh starts.
But if you’ve ever noticed your body tightening up or your mind spinning with “what ifs” right after making a positive change, you’re not alone. Even good change can stir up discomfort.
The Hidden Truth About Change
Our brains crave predictability. It’s how we feel safe. That is why change, even when it’s something we want, means stepping into the unknown. And the unknown wakes up every system in our body that’s wired to keep us safe.
So when you start that new job, begin therapy, or shift your routine, your brain quietly asks:
“Wait… what’s happening here? Are we sure this is safe?”
That’s not resistance. That’s your nervous system trying to protect you.
Stop letting fear get in the way of change!
Why “Positive” Change Still Feels Hard
Here’s what I often tell clients (and remind myself).
“Your body doesn’t label change as good or bad, it only knows different.
Different means adjustment, which means something is new and untraveled….therefore a threat!”
Maybe you’re leaving behind an old pattern, a familiar environment, or even an identity that no longer fits. There’s often a mix of excitement and grief in that process. You can want something new and still feel uneasy about letting go of what you knew before. Both can be true.
Building Resilience Through Change
You don’t have to bulldoze your discomfort to grow. You just have to bring it along with you. Here are a few small shifts that can help:
Name what’s changing. Putting words to it helps your brain make sense of the new.
Keep what grounds you. Routines, rituals, or moments of calm (like morning coffee or a daily walk) remind your body that safety still exists.
Give yourself permission to wobble. Feeling unsure doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re adapting.
Reflect on past transitions. You’ve done this before. You’ve handled unknowns. Let that history remind you of your capacity.
A Gentle Reminder
Change isn’t just about what’s new, it’s also about who you’re becoming. Growth takes courage, and courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the willingness to take the next step while your voice still trembles.
So if you’re in a season of transition (personally, professionally, or emotionally) give yourself space to move through it at your own pace. You’re not behind; you’re becoming.
Ready to go deeper?
If you’re a client interested in EMDR intensives or a therapist looking for continuing education opportunities focused on trauma, dissociation, and resourcing, visit Breaking Limitations Therapy & Consultation.
And if you’re a multi-professional or entrepreneur craving more clarity, structure, and balance, explore Breaking Limitations Coaching for on-demand courses and 1:1 Clarity & Strategy Sessions designed to help you align your work and life with what matters most.
This blog is educational and not a substitute for therapy. If you or someone you love is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please contact local emergency services or your region’s crisis line immediately.
